My Family

Our idea of what a family is comes first and foremost from what we experience within our own families. So, before I start exploring other people’s experience of family, I will explore my own.

I am the eldest daughter of Curt and Barb Black and I have seven siblings who follow in line after me about every two years or so. First Sophie came, then Helen, then Jonathan. Next, Ava was born, then Samuel, Jane and finally Josephine.

Being the oldest of eight children meant that I had a lot of responsibilities from a young age. I remember being a “second mom” of sorts to my younger siblings. Having to take on more responsibilities at a young age meant that I matured faster – which I am grateful for now – but also meant that I missed out a little bit on just being a kid.

I never doubted the fact that I was loved by my parents and my siblings. My mom and dad read, prayed with and played with me and my brothers and sisters. We also made it a point to have family dinners together almost every night, which is something I did not realize not many people had the experience of growing up. My mom is a really good cook, and my dad is too, but my mom did most 

of the cooking in our family, and she taught me and my sisters to love being in the kitchen as well.

My mom and dad choose to homeschool my siblings and I. My mom did most of the teaching, but my dad helped us a lot with math and science when he got home at night from his job as a Chiropractor. I really enjoyed being homeschooled. I liked that I got to develop close relationships with my siblings and parents while learning at home, as well as be a part of a large homeschooling community. My siblings and I had many friends who were homeschooled who lived close by that we did school and fun activities with as well as participated in vocal choir and hand bell choir. Now some of us are at home, some at private schools and some at public schools because my parents believe that all of us kids should learn in the way and in the environment we do best. My siblings and I were also involved in theater, soccer, piano lessons, 4-H and at our parish. Being very busy was a norm for the Black family and still is!

Every year my family and our close family friends travel to a cabin up north in Wisconsin and spend a week there swimming, eating, boating, eating, playing games, exploring, eating and enjoying each other company. (Did I mention we do a lot of eating?!?) The week at the cabin is something that I anticipated all year (and still do) because it was a time for our family to reconnect with each other and with our friends.

Growing up I never really wanted for anything. I always had clothes to wear, food to eat and a bed to sleep in. I never really worried about money even when the recession hit and my family went thought a little bit of a financial crisis, because I did not really feel the effects.

My family has gone thought some hard things, deaths of extended family members and struggles with mental health and learning disabilities. But through all of the hard times my family grew closer, I think because my parents made an effort to learn from, and help my siblings and I learn from the experiences that we went through.

Over my years of growing up my family had a few other families live with us when they were going though times of crisis. I always thought that this was great because I loved having some of my best friends stay with us. Looking back on those times now, I see how generous and supportive my parents are and I hope to be able to have the same kind of active love for my friends and family as my parents did and still do.

Extended family also played a big role in my life growing up. We always spent holidays with my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins from both sides of the family. My grandparents would give us gifts and spend time with us, and we would travel to MN often to visit and stay with my extended family on my mom’s side. On my mom’s side of the family there are 36 cousins and I am the oldest, which makes family gatherings big and loud and tons of fun! My family is Catholic and practices the faith and most of my extended family does too, but some do not, which adds another interesting aspect to the times we all spend together.

Now that Sophie and Helen and I are all out of the house going to school in three different states, our family dynamics have changed a bit. I would say that overall we have become closer as a family, in a unique way, because being away from each other makes us appreciate the times that we have together all the more. Thinking about what our family is going to look like in the next 10 years, is something that I like to do sometimes. I wonder who will be married, who will have kids, where will everyone be living...all is so uncertain! One thing I am certain of though is that we will all still love and care for each other, because that is just how my family is.

I know that I have been blessed with a great family life and I am so thankful for the critical role my family has played in my life and will continue to play. 

The Purpose

The title of this blog, which I think is quite clever if I do say so myself, is “Family Facets”. I will be using this blog to explore the many diverse facets of FAMILY through exploring my thoughts, opinions and experiences along with those of others.

To get this thing started, let’s begin by looking at and exploring the words “FAMILY” and “FACET”.

Above is the dictionary definition for the word family. At it's most basic level a family is a group of parents and children living together in one household or the descendants of a common ancestor. But for most, that is not what we think of when we think family. When I think of family I think of my mom and dad, my seven younger siblings, my grandparents, and my aunts, uncles and cousins. When I think of my family, I think of joy - good times and bad times - but an overarching senses of joy. However, when you think of family, you might think "oh, those are the people who betrayed/hurt me", or "my friends are more family then my so called real family will ever be" or "family can be whatever you want it to mean, the traditional concept of family is outdated and irrelevant".  To say the least, the word and concept of FAMILY is one that is highly charged and many sided. 

That leads us to the next word: FACET. As we can see above, the dictionary definition is: "one side of a many-sided thing, or a particular aspect or feature of something". "Facets" is just the plural of "facet", and as we have already established, there are many, many FACETS to FAMILY. 

If you have been following the news, or if you just walk down the street, it is plain to see that the traditional view of family, and what it means to be a family is being stretched and challenged in today's society. The family, being the very unit or molecule of society (we all come from a family whether we like it or not), must be examined because it is critical for our society to survive and thrive. 

I know that I am not alone in this opinion: 

In our world today, there is a war on the basic unit of society - the FAMILY. There are attacks coming from every side: drugs, violence, alcohol, divorce, technology, money, abortion, same sex "marriage"... just to name a few. 

With this war on family going on all around us and effecting everyone of us, I think that it is important that we look at our own families, our experiences of family, and what we know to be true about family so that we can learn from our experiences and those of others and put an end to this war. 

So that is the very thing that this blog is going to do: talk about the many FACETS of FAMILY, so that we all may grow and better understand what God intended family to be and work towards protecting and preserving the FAMILY.