Dear Josie

A Letter to My Baby Sister

Dear Josie,

As your oldest sister and (fairy) Godmother I want to write you a letter to tell you how much I love you and to share some things I want you to know.

To be honest little Tootie, when I found out that I was going to be a big sister (for the seventh time), I was kinda mad. At first.

I was going into my senior year of high-school and I was afraid that Mom and Dad were not going to have enough time for me. I was worried that when you were born all of my needs for moving on to the next stage of my life after graduation were not going to be met if there was another baby in the house. I was very selfish. I told Mom how I felt and she hugged me and cried with me because we were both scared for what it was going to be like to have one more little one around the house. Mom assured me that it was all going to be OK, and that even though there may be hard things that come with new babies, the life of a new child is always a special gift and blessing. After this talk with Mom, I felt much better and I slowly started to get more and more excited for your arrival.

I spent that next nine months waiting for you to come, working hard at school, applying for and visiting colleges and trying to decide what the heck I was going to do with my life. It was kinda a stressful time in my life, but I looked forward to when Mom's midwife would come over to talk with us about how you were doing growing inside of Mom and I especially looked forward to hearing your little heartbeat. The day that you were born was an exciting one; what I blessing it was to be there for your birth and to get to hold your tiny little body just moments after you took your first breaths. When I, (and the rest of the siblings) met you it was such a joyful moment! We were so very happy that you were the newest addition to our crazy family. I remember crying because I was so overwhelmed with joy to meet you.

Soon after you were born, Mom and Dad asked me if I would be your Godmother. I was so honored to be asked because I know that being entrusted to care for you and pray for you in that way is very special and important. I felt really proud that Mom and Dad would trust me with that role in your life. The day that you were Baptized and became an adopted daughter of God and a member of the Catholic Church, I got to hold you and pray for you and commit to helping Mom and Dad when it came to teaching you about how much Jesus loves you. What I beautiful moment that was. I want you to know that I pray for you every single day, that God loves you and is holding you and has a wonderful plan for your life.

The summer after your Baptism, I packed up my bags and left home to go be a missionary for a year. It was so hard to say goodbye to you and to not be with you for the first full year of your life. I missed the whole family a lot, but I missed you the most. I remember coming home for a week during Christmas time and you did not remember who I was and that you did not want me to hold you. That broke my heart because I wanted to be so much a part of your life and to have you know how much I love you. That taught me a good lesson though: that it was going to take more effort on my part to make sure that I was still apart of your life even though I would be so far away from you geographically.

I am basically a professional at being a big sister, but with you it is different, you are 18 years younger then me, and I am not physically in your life as much as I was for our other siblings. I wonder sometimes what it is like for you growing up only having me home during breaks from school. You have never known what it is like to have me around all the time, and sometimes that scares me because I want to be apart of your growing up. But I know that this is a natural part of life, and I am so grateful that you are my little sister and that I am your big sister. I am always so pumped to tell my friends (and even people I barely know) about you because I am so proud of you and I am so excited to see what great things God has in store for your life. It is gonna be kinda fun to see what our relationship will become.

Josie, know that I love you with my whole heart and that no matter where I may be, or where our lives may take us, that I will always be there to pray for you and to support you and that no matter what I will always be your big sister.

Love,

Maddie

My Family

Our idea of what a family is comes first and foremost from what we experience within our own families. So, before I start exploring other people’s experience of family, I will explore my own.

I am the eldest daughter of Curt and Barb Black and I have seven siblings who follow in line after me about every two years or so. First Sophie came, then Helen, then Jonathan. Next, Ava was born, then Samuel, Jane and finally Josephine.

Being the oldest of eight children meant that I had a lot of responsibilities from a young age. I remember being a “second mom” of sorts to my younger siblings. Having to take on more responsibilities at a young age meant that I matured faster – which I am grateful for now – but also meant that I missed out a little bit on just being a kid.

I never doubted the fact that I was loved by my parents and my siblings. My mom and dad read, prayed with and played with me and my brothers and sisters. We also made it a point to have family dinners together almost every night, which is something I did not realize not many people had the experience of growing up. My mom is a really good cook, and my dad is too, but my mom did most 

of the cooking in our family, and she taught me and my sisters to love being in the kitchen as well.

My mom and dad choose to homeschool my siblings and I. My mom did most of the teaching, but my dad helped us a lot with math and science when he got home at night from his job as a Chiropractor. I really enjoyed being homeschooled. I liked that I got to develop close relationships with my siblings and parents while learning at home, as well as be a part of a large homeschooling community. My siblings and I had many friends who were homeschooled who lived close by that we did school and fun activities with as well as participated in vocal choir and hand bell choir. Now some of us are at home, some at private schools and some at public schools because my parents believe that all of us kids should learn in the way and in the environment we do best. My siblings and I were also involved in theater, soccer, piano lessons, 4-H and at our parish. Being very busy was a norm for the Black family and still is!

Every year my family and our close family friends travel to a cabin up north in Wisconsin and spend a week there swimming, eating, boating, eating, playing games, exploring, eating and enjoying each other company. (Did I mention we do a lot of eating?!?) The week at the cabin is something that I anticipated all year (and still do) because it was a time for our family to reconnect with each other and with our friends.

Growing up I never really wanted for anything. I always had clothes to wear, food to eat and a bed to sleep in. I never really worried about money even when the recession hit and my family went thought a little bit of a financial crisis, because I did not really feel the effects.

My family has gone thought some hard things, deaths of extended family members and struggles with mental health and learning disabilities. But through all of the hard times my family grew closer, I think because my parents made an effort to learn from, and help my siblings and I learn from the experiences that we went through.

Over my years of growing up my family had a few other families live with us when they were going though times of crisis. I always thought that this was great because I loved having some of my best friends stay with us. Looking back on those times now, I see how generous and supportive my parents are and I hope to be able to have the same kind of active love for my friends and family as my parents did and still do.

Extended family also played a big role in my life growing up. We always spent holidays with my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins from both sides of the family. My grandparents would give us gifts and spend time with us, and we would travel to MN often to visit and stay with my extended family on my mom’s side. On my mom’s side of the family there are 36 cousins and I am the oldest, which makes family gatherings big and loud and tons of fun! My family is Catholic and practices the faith and most of my extended family does too, but some do not, which adds another interesting aspect to the times we all spend together.

Now that Sophie and Helen and I are all out of the house going to school in three different states, our family dynamics have changed a bit. I would say that overall we have become closer as a family, in a unique way, because being away from each other makes us appreciate the times that we have together all the more. Thinking about what our family is going to look like in the next 10 years, is something that I like to do sometimes. I wonder who will be married, who will have kids, where will everyone be living...all is so uncertain! One thing I am certain of though is that we will all still love and care for each other, because that is just how my family is.

I know that I have been blessed with a great family life and I am so thankful for the critical role my family has played in my life and will continue to play.